Hello World :]

Hello world. I am in pain. Operation toe has commenced. Aye. It was painful but pain = beauty apparantly. And I swear on baby Jesus I do not have normal toes. v_v
We are going to Primrose Valley soon. For a week. A week stuck in a caravan with my mother and insane brothers. And the dog of course. Not that I have anything against Minstrel. I have to share a room with my brother. Great stuff. I am almost 18years of age and I shall have to sleep almost ontop of my 14year old hormonal brother. I think he's 14 anyway. I don't actually know. I know my other brother's 10 but that's only because he rudley interrupted my 7th birthday party. Pfh. Some people don't know how lucky they are. It's a nightmare having to share your birthday with your younger brother. On my 15th birthday I was stuck inside watching my brother play pass the parcel. Imagine that. Because we have ''family'' days. But seeing as this year I'm 18 I actually get a choice. And we're off to London. To see the Lion King in a proper west end musical thing. I've always loved the Lion King even though the first film should've been a 12 considering it had horny lions in. Which is true. When Simba and Nala rolled down the hill. And you know. She gave him that look. And he licked her. Which is what lions do i suppose. Not that i'd know. Because I'm not a lion. Thank God. Anyway, moving on from our wild inner beastiness, I still haven't heard from this Dutch friend of Ewans. Perhaps she's busy shaving all her hair off. After all he did say the dutch women had hairy legs and armpits. Or was that the Germans? And why only the women anyway? Does that mean that the men tidy themselfs up? Jesus. I can't stay and blog for long. I have to be up in the morning. We're going holiday shopping. Well. My mum reckons I need a new bra because mine doesn't fit. She wants me to get measured. There is something pervy though about strange women feeling you up in the changing rooms to see what size you are. The last time I got measured I was told to kind of jiggle my boobs about so they'd go in. Is that kind of a lesbiany thing to ask a 14year old girl to do? Or not? Not that I have anything against lesbianity at all. I just don't want them coming onto me. I mean, I have got a boyfriend and everything. Not that I want a girlfriend. But you know. Anyway fellow blogger chums, I best be off. Lot's of sleep to do and things. And I might ring Jordan. And try and have a sane conversation with him. Because apparantly i'm insane. But that's okay because normal people are boring. Right?
TTFN :] x

FAMEEEEEEEE.

FAAMEEE!!!!!! I'm gonna live foreverrr!!!!!

Hello lovely world. I got a phone call this morning from something to do with a tv show. Appaz I'm going to have the producer of this TV show ringing me up once they've processed my application. EEEE. (: paha. Today is such a weird day. I never thought I'd be woken up with my excited mother extending her arm with a phone on the end saying someone to do with being on TV is on the phone. lololol. It's my & Jordans 3 month anniversairy tomorrow. :] we're going to the cinemaaaaaaa. So yes. My world is very odd at the moment, and that's just how i like it (: I have both phones on my bed waiting for this bloody tv producer to ring me. They better hurry (; Geeeeeee. ^-^ Andddd. I hope Ewan's okay. He went into hospital Saturday to start his treatments but I haven't heard anything yett. Jordan better be coming to see me today grrr. My mum wants me to wash up. i was like i won't need you when i'm famouuussssss ;) tehe giddy geeee i ordered a biffy clyro tee off hmv.com.. is it bad to order mens clothes? :| HM. Who cares. I'm off. with a boom and a bang and a ttfn (; x

I want a rara skirt.

lol. why does everything have to change. life is so weird at the moment. i guess it always is.
i hardly even come on here anymore but i just wanted to say that really.

x

fuck off.

I'm so pissed off. I'm supposed to be in a 'relationship' with someone who doesn't even trust me enough to tell me the shit that's going on in his life. Pah. When the fuck do boys evolve into men? And he reckons he loves me more than anything. Yeah right. I'm sick of this. It fucks with my head. I've cried so much lately. After Macca I swore to myself I'd never fall in love with anyone ever again. Even though I guess with him it wasn't /proper/ love, as some people might call it. It was probably more of an infatuation. The obsession of wanting to be in love with someone. And now my boyfriend's the one being a dick yet it's /me/ who's ringing him to try and sort stuff out. Lol. He won't even pick up. I mean yeah, 9/10 times it's my fault we argue, but this time he's just being a dickhead. I hate the hurt that comes along with loving someone. I seem to get that more than the actual joyous part. Aacchh. Idk what to do. Do I just leave him alone? Leave him altogether? Lolno. I don't want to fall out with him. I don't think I could ever leave him. I do love him. Just lately he's been a bit of a bastard. He blames it on stopping smoking. Well. I know what addictions are like but I never lashed out at anyone when I was quitting mine. I didn't even really talk about it. Probably because if i talked about it I'd think about it, and then I'd want to do it. It's all one biiiig circle ya see. I know I'm not exactly the best of people. I'm shit when it comes to relationships but I do try. I tell him everything. I even trust him enough to put myself in a vulnerable position with him and cry down the phone to him. It takes ages to trust someone like that. When you can get everything thrown back in your face. I know what it feels like and it's fucking horrible tbh. I've felt really suicidal lately. I haven't felt like that in a long long time. I tell him I feel suicidal, all I get back is, ''and how do you think that will affect me?'' ..well tbh when someone wants out they don't tend to think too much about other peoples feelings. Selfish? Maybe. Erhh, I feel tired, and sick. :( I'll try ringing Jordan once more and If he doesn't answer then he can go fuck off :]

I'm back.. back again :]

Waw. So I guess I haven't wrote for a while :) busybusybusybeeee. Anywho;; did my Race for Life yesterday, did it in 36minutes 19seconds ;D WHICH i was happy with because last year i did it in 42minutes somethingggg and I haven't even trained or owt. I suppose it's because I had the /massive/ motivation of Ewan :] Speaking of which, I hope he's okay :/ Haven't heard from Martine since she said she was going ''holidaying'' soon. Oo-er. O.o . HM. Got my letter from Morven :3 and wrote one back. I love letters. I need to buy some stamps cause I stole all my mummys >< . Achh. I'm supposed to be sleeping at Jordan's tonight. I'm still in bed lol. I keep falling asleep and having weird dreams. I went to this drama presentation last Thursday which was like to show us what we'd be doing when we started in September. It was really good. I just hope I can be as good D;
Short blog i know but tbh I'm not sure what to talk about ._.
I guess I'll think of something, later :]
I love you, world. Most of the time.
TTFN;; x