Much more than this.

Nothing is going right. Everything is falling apart. Jordan finally gets the money for us to go to Scotland - then I find out Morven's not even going to be there. He was supposed to be stopping over tomorrow night but my mum's being a stupid cow about it. Lol. We're not even allowed to sleep in the same bed, let alone the same room. She treats me like I'm 13 or something. I'm so frustrated I'm ach in tears >< .
Andd. I still haven't heard anything from Ewan ._. It's been 10 days now. And nothing. Last time I heard from him he was going into a respite home. I hate not knowing. That has to be the worst thing. I wake up all shaky at 6:20 every morning then again at 8:30 - just to see If he's emailed me. Is that pathetic? That I care about him so much? He and Morven are my best friends and I dunno where I'd be without them. It feels like everyone I love and care about Is leaving me. It always happens like this so I guess I should be pretty immune to hurt by now? You'd think so hm? Like when this woman I was in love with got cancer and died. That was the first time I'd ever felt so strongly about someone, and she was ripped out of my life. I'm not asking for any ones sympathy vote, I don't want It, I just want people to stay around In my life for once. They're either millions of miles away. Or dying. Or both. With the exception of Jordan of course, which Is why I get scared sometimes because I've never had someone feel so much about me and still be here. Maybe I should try being positive for once? Lol. It doesn't help listening to Chris De Burgh. I love his music though. I love sentimental music. :) I'ma get Jordan to ring me or something to cheer me up. Make me smile. He always manages tooooo.